No sooner did I write about my weeble wobbleness, then I read this excerpt from Prince Caspian (part of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis):
"Welcome Prince," said Aslan. "Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the kingship of Narnia?"
"I, I don't think I do, Sir," said Caspian. "I'm only a kid."
"Good," said Aslan. "If you had thought yourself sufficient, it would have been proof that you were not."
"Therefore under us and under the high king, you shall be king......"
I am coming to terms with the foolishness of my faith. How it makes one so vulnerable and dependent and insufficient and yet so protected and capable and fully equipped.
At 35, I can't say "I'm only a kid." But I often feel like one. My feet seem too small to fill the shoes. My patience, too short to measure up.
"I'm only a failure," I say as I fumble for an excuse not to step forward.
And that's when He reminds me that what I am (a kid, a failure) is not the point. It is what He has made and will make of me that matters.